mistakes.

          The piece mentioned in this post reminds me of Pokémon, and here's why: as any true 90's child will tell you, all Pokémon characters had three evolutionary stages. The first was essentially the puppy version, all smiley and gentle, the middle stage was essentially a tween with a bit more sass, and the full grown up version was the hardest mother fucker to have ever walked the Pokémon earth (see below). 

         Although I wouldn't say the end result of this DIY project would qualify as a "the hardest mother fucker to have ever walked the Pokémon earth", it did kind of accidentally go from a 2 to roughly a 7.5 on the slut scale. We begin....

          This piece was acquired in none other than the Goodwill in good ol' Delaware, Ohio, where I attended college.  Let me begin by saying that the Delaware Goodwill is not exactly cream of the crop for thrift store shopping, unless you're looking for gold lame leggings, or a purple zip-up ugly Christmas sweater with an entire nativity scene composedof sequins at the bottom (both of which I found there, both of which have been loved endlessly by me and many other theme party-aficionados).  One can score some good finds thrifting in Delaware, however these so-called 'good-finds' are few and far between.  -- UPDATE: the smaller Goodwill in Delaware downgraded to only accepting donations during my LAST SEMESTER OF COLLEGE. Like....what are you doing to me, Goodwill? -- 

          HOWEVER, one fine autumn day I stumbled upon a BEAUT; a short sleeved black mid-calf-length dress made out of some bizaare horribly scratchy crepe material with tiny little white polka dots all over it (and an ample supply of padding in both shoulders).  The polka dots were what sold me. Before this dress I SWEAR to you I had never owned a piece of clothing with a pattern on it, but this one I absolutely had to have.  Unfortunately I was not in the right state of mind the majority of my sophomore year of college and thus didn't think to capture an image of this masterpiece pre-pre-op, so you'll just have to use your imagination.


          A couple days post-purchase came the first transformation (and a very crude one at that): shoulder pads -- ripped out (and I do mean ripped...with my bare hands and no scissors, like the barbarian I am), skirt -- shortened by about 5 inches (also didn't even bother hemming it afterwards -- Why no one told me bothered telling me that I looked homeless, I know not.) Afterwards, looked a little like this:

Hi Jane!

          Annnnnd voila! Life #2 for my little polka dot dress began.  Then came a hot Chicago summer, an internship at a fashion retailer, and an undying desire for change and the dress was transformed yet again.  The sleeves came off and the top was turned into a tube-top, the teeny black buttons were replaced with some nice large pearly white ones, and the bottom of the skirt was finally hemmed as it should have been to begin with!    

       However, much like the life of Charizard, the third stage of evolution for this dress was short-lived. I think it made a brief appearance at my internship, a couple parties, and an accounting class or two my junior year, but not until my mini photoshoot last week did I realize how crudely it had been done.  The skirt ended up way too short for a 5'7" human being (ESPECIALLY in the front, where it peaks almost 1.5 inches above the rest of the skirt), and the top is ill-fitting and has threads hanging everywhere. So in order for you to learn from my mistakes, and for the death of this dress not to be in bad faith, I have included some handy upcycling/sewing tips for beginnersbelow!


       1. Do not even go near scissors if what you're working on is still on your body. Okay, yes, to some people this might sound like you'd have to be a complete moron to try cutting something while you're wearing it, but to others it might make a lot of sense! No need for pesky tape measure-rs or bothering putting the dress on, then taking it off, then on again....total time saver, right?! WRONG. It will be uneven, you'll be tempted to cut off more than you need to, and no matter how careful you are, you will stab/butcher your body.
       2. Leave room! One of the biggest and most BASIC mistakes I made with this dress was not leaving enough room to be able to create a hem! Again, it sounds like a really dumb mistake, but it is a DEATH SENTENCE for your garment if you forget it! If I could go back, I would have left at least 1 inch (preferable 1 1/2 or 2 inches) longer than I would have liked the dress to be.
       3. Think about the material. At the time, I didn't realize that the flimsy material would not be able to support the design in mind. I was hoping that the top would be a tight fitting corset type garment, but clearly the material would not support it without any type of dart or internal structure. A good rule in sewing as well as life in general, don't try to force something to do what it inherently cannot.
       4. Measure twice, cut once. Amazing how I went 22 years without hearing this phrase,but it could NOT BE MORE TRUE! I will admit, I am not the best at adhering to this rule, but it is a good one nonetheless.


I know these are very basic, but they're good starting points. Hope you learned something from my mistakes!


ming.